I do not have time to blog anymore :(

Mel

Here I am in a Relationship..... I have never been the type to be in a relationship. In fact I have prided myself to some degree that I have not needed anyone. Plus all the relationships or guys I have ever liked turned out a mess. Thus, leaving me to pick myself up and realize I like being on my own. Now in a relationship I am being asked all these questions that just leave me puzzled. So I ask what is love? How do you know if you should stay with one or move on. I have friends who after a couple of weeks say he is the one only for two months to go by and they have broken up. They find another guy and once again he is also the one. I am told it is full of gushy feelings and wanting to be with the person all the time. I also have my parents tell me love is work and giving of oneself and caring for the other person more than you. I suppose I should listen to my parents as they have been married over 25 years. However, I want the Hollywood story where I saw him and he was the one. The story were everything is perfect and love is luminating from my body the moment I am around him. The older I get the more I realize that I don't think I was meant for such a story, nor do I know this really exist. Yes, some women may think it exist, but maybe they are completly fabricating the story. I wish I had the answers and knew the right way to falling in love.......I wish it was as easy as the story books make love out to be....

Truth

It is true....
I am never satisfied. This statement is a negative notation yet it has driven me to the person I am. As far as I can remember nothing was good enough. Is this the gymnast mentality? Perfection.....is this what I seek? Yet a hopless reality. For example, I would hit an almost perfect routine or I would do the best I possibly could and there was always correction or room for improvement. I have lived a constant there is more I must seek more I must do. Another example my weight I can drop ten pounds like that yet I still do not feel small enough. Yes, I know this is brutaly honest about myself. I am starting to realize this metality has left me not ever being content. What truly would make me happy? When will I ever feel happy with who I am or the gifts God has given me? Is this why I stay single too. Looking for perfection in another? All these questions just leave me sad and left to my own disillusions.

Today starts the Olympics! I am extremly excited this year to watch the women's gymnastics team! I just recently got to watch the trials at Bela's ranch and it was a surreal experience as the athletes were 50 or less feet from me.

Expectation Hangover-

"The exhaustion of figuring out you life while trying to have the time of your life!"

I like!

The Top 10 reasons beer is evil!
1. Calories, Calories, and more Calories ( I workout and watch what I eat, but give me one beer and before you know it I have consumed well over 600 calories.....bc honestly who can have just one?)
2. My brain leaves my body and I love EVERYONE!
3. Volume control does not exist
4. Embarrassing personal stories become public????
5. I seem to think I can dance
6. I just won't shut-up
7. Drunk texting anyone??? ( I think there should be a Breathalyzer test that one has to blow in before texting!)
8. Drunk myspacing or facebooking ( Your friends know you wrote the message drunk....hello typos and time of 3:00am)
9. 2:00am comes to fast and you swore up and down its still 12:00am.
10. Next day guilt as you try to remember what the heck happened to you!